Empower Yourself – Speak your Truth!
Speaking your truth is an essential aspect of living a life of passion, fulfillment and authenticity. However, for many of us—Mike Robbins included—it is much easier to talk about speaking our truth than it is to actually do it.
I was talking to my friend Greg a few months ago and he told me a poignant and powerful story about speaking his truth. He was in a grocery store and saw a woman yelling at her children in a cruel way.
He walked over to the woman and said, “Excuse me, would you please treat those children with kindness and love?” She looked at him and said, “Mind your own business, these are my kids.” Greg replied by saying, “If you were doing this in your living room, it would be just your business, but you’re doing it here in front of me. I’m standing over here with my heart aching for these children as I hear you speak to them like that, so I decided to come over and say something to you about it.”
The woman then told him to stick it up his you-know-what, grabbed her kids and rushed out to the parking lot to drive away. Greg then said to me, “Mike, I don’t know if I did the right thing or the wrong thing. My legs were shaking as I talked to her. I was so scared, upset and emotional.”
“But,” Greg said, “I’ll tell you what—when I walked away I noticed something interesting: I wasn’t blaming anyone. Normally, I wouldn’t have said anything and I would have blamed myself for not speaking up, the woman for treating her kids like that, or our culture for creating the environment where things like that happen and no one does anything about it. However, since I spoke up I was at peace and not wasting any time or energy blaming anyone. I have no idea if what I said made an impact on that woman, but I don’t have to live with her, I have to live with myself.”
“But,” Greg said, “I’ll tell you what—when I walked away I noticed something interesting: I wasn’t blaming anyone. Normally, I wouldn’t have said anything and I would have blamed myself for not speaking up, the woman for treating her kids like that, or our culture for creating the environment where things like that happen and no one does anything about it. However, since I spoke up I was at peace and not wasting any time or energy blaming anyone. I have no idea if what I said made an impact on that woman, but I don’t have to live with her, I have to live with myself.”
I sat there stunned when I heard Greg tell me this story. I said to him, “Wow, that was bold. I’m not sure I would’ve had the courage to say that to her, but I’m glad you did.”
What if you had the courage to speak up?
“But,” Greg said, “I’ll tell you what—when I walked away I noticed something interesting: I wasn’t blaming anyone. Normally, I wouldn’t have said anything and I would have blamed myself for not speaking up, the woman for treating her kids like that, or our culture for creating the environment where things like that happen and no one does anything about it. However, since I spoke up I was at peace and not wasting any time or energy blaming anyone. I have no idea if what I said made an impact on that woman, but I don’t have to live with her, I have to live with myself.”
I sat there stunned when I heard Greg tell me this story. I said to him, “Wow, that was bold. I’m not sure I would’ve had the courage to say that to her, but I’m glad you did.”
What if you had the courage to speak up?
What if we had the courage to speak up like that in all areas of life—our work, our relationships, our family, with people in public? Imagine the freedom and power we would possess. This is not about getting in people’s faces and challenging them, although sometimes it might take that form.
An important distinction for us to remember is the difference between our opinions and our truth. We all have opinions—lots of them. Many of us think our opinions are actually facts, though they’re not! There’s nothing wrong with having and expressing opinions. However, many of them are filled with righteous judgment and an arrogant sense that we’re right and those who don’t agree with us are wrong.
Our “truth” runs much deeper than any of our opinions. Truth is about how we feel and what is real for us. Truth is not about being right; it’s about expressing what we think and feel in an authentic, vulnerable and transparent way.
For example, I might have an opinion that you are rude. I’m entitled to this opinion and I may even have specific evidence of times you have done things that I think are rude. There may also be other people who agree with me that you’re rude. However, this opinion will probably not help our relationship, bring us closer or help us have honest conversations with each other.
My “truth,” however, might be that when you’re around me I get scared because I worry you might say something that will hurt my feelings. Or, I get angry because I don’t like some of the things you say and do. In other words, I sometimes don’t feel safe or comfortable around you.
This distinction is not just about semantics or words, it is total shift in perspective and context. When we let go of being “right” about our opinions and take responsibility for our experience, we can speak our truth from a much deeper and more authentic place. Speaking this deeper truth will not only liberate us, but has the potential to make a difference for others while bringing us closer together.
Part 2 – Three ways to speak your truth.
Except from Mike Robbins Staff writer for Oprah.com
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