Health Benefits of True Friendship

The scientific data proves that the more close friends we have, the healthier we are. Close friendships make you less likely to get sick and more likely to recover if you get sick. They even increase your life expectancy. This talk, which is ideal for women’s conferences, churches, and other health and spirituality gatherings, focuses on the sacred contracts we unconsciously or explicitly make with our friends. It also covers tips for how to be a good friend and how to attract positive friendships into your life, not just because friends alleviate loneliness, but because friendship is preventative medicine.

What are the benefits of friendships?

Good friends are good for your health. Friends can help you celebrate good times and provide support during bad times. Friends prevent loneliness and give you a chance to offer needed companionship, too. Friends can also:

-Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
-Boost your happiness
-Reduce stress
-Improve your self-worth
-Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
-Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise
How can I nurture my friendships?

Developing and maintaining healthy friendships involves give-and-take. Sometimes you’re the one giving support, and other times you’re on the receiving end. Letting friends know you care about them and appreciate them can help strengthen your bond. It’s as important for you to be a good friend as it is to surround yourself with good friends.

The Definition of A True Friend

The tendency to desire what is best for the other
Sympathy and empathy
Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one’s counterpart
Mutual understanding and compassion; ability to go to each other for emotional support
Enjoyment of each other’s company
Trust in one another
Positive reciprocity — a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties.
The ability to be oneself, express one’s feelings and make mistakes without fear of judgment.

To nurture your friendships:

Go easy. Don’t overwhelm friends with phone calls, texts, instant messages or emails. Respect your friends’ boundaries.
Don’t compete. Don’t let friendships turn into a battle over who makes the most money or who has the nicest home.
Adopt a healthy, realistic self-image. Work on building your self-esteem by taking care of yourself — eat a healthy diet and include physical activity in your daily routine. Vanity and constant self-criticism can be turnoffs to potential friends.
Avoid relentless complaining. Nonstop complaining can put a strain on your friendships. Talk to your friends about how you can change the parts of your life that make you unhappy.
Adopt a positive outlook. Try to find the humor in things. Laughter is infectious and appealing.
Listen up. Ask what’s going on in your friends’ lives. Avoid talking about your own problems all the time. Try to only give advice when your friends ask for it.
Don’t judge. Give your friends space to change, grow and make mistakes. Encourage your friends to freely express their emotions.
Respect privacy. Keep confidential any personal information that your friends share with you. Try not to ask questions that make your friends uncomfortable.
Remember, it’s never too late to build new friendships or reconnect with old friends. Investing time in making friends and strengthening your friendships can pay off in better health and a brighter outlook for years to come.

A Friendship Practice to live by:

In my line of work as a blogger, social media junkie, public speaker, and, I communicate with as many as lots of people every day. Some of these people are already friends. Some become friends. And some are people I’ve never met and probably never will. It really blurs the line for me regarding who my true friends really are, and I worry that sometimes I spend so much time interacting with (and genuinely loving) strangers that I fail to be as present as I want to be with my true friends.

When my friends need something, I’ll drop everything for them. But when they don’t write or call, I have to admit that sometimes I get so busy they slip my mind, and months – sometimes even years – can go by without any communication.

I wanted to change this.

So I’ve started a friendship practice to help me be more mindful of the friends I really love, my inner circle posse of awesome. I wrote all their names on a list and placed the list on my altar, where I meditate every day, so every day I will think of these people at least once. I’m hoping that focusing my attention on those I love will help me be a better friend. Maybe it’ll even help my friends feel more loved, connected, and healthy.

As a wise, unnamed person once said, “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

I want to know the songs in the hearts of those I love.

So, bring your BFF and join us for a women's retreat in Dahlonega, Georgia on November 14-17th 2013.