Let the curves take you !!!

Letting the Curves Take You: Surrendering Control When you resist what's at every turn, your whole being becomes tense and anxiety is your close companion. Trying to maintain control in this life is a bit like trying to maintain control on a roller coaster. The ride has its own logic and is going to go its own way, regardless of how tightly you grip the bar. There is a thrill and a power in simply surrendering to the ride and fully feeling the ups and downs of it, letting the curves take you rather than fighting them. When you fight the ride, resisting what’s happening at every turn, your whole being becomes tense and anxiety is your close companion.
When you go with the ride, accepting what you cannot control, freedom and joy will inevitably arise. As with so many seemingly simple things in life, it is not always easy to let go, even of the things we know we can’t control. Most of us feel a great discomfort with the givens of this life, one of which is the fact that much of the time we have no control over what happens. Sometimes this awareness comes only when we have a stark encounter with this fact, and all our attempts to be in control are revealed to be unnecessary burdens. We can also cultivate this awareness in ourselves gently, by simply making surrender a daily practice. At the end of our meditation, we might bow, saying, “I surrender to this life.” This simple mantra can be repeated as necessary throughout the day, when we find ourselves metaphorically gripping the safety bar. We can give in to our fear and anxiety, or we can surrender to this great mystery with courage. When we see people on a roller coaster, we see that there are those with their faces tight with fear and then there are those that smile broadly, with their hands in the air, carried through the ride on a wave of freedom and joy. This powerful image reminds us that often the only control we have is choosing how we are going to respond to the ride.

Count your Blessings!

WHEN I WORKED with the poor in New York City, I was always amazed at the gratefulness in the hearts of so many who, in a material sense, had very little. What were they grateful for? They were grateful to be alive, to have food on their table, to enjoy the sun on a beautiful day, to have their health, their friends, their family, and to be a contributing member of their community.

At the same time, I was always amazed by the lack of gratefulness in the hearts of so many who, in a material sense, had so much. If you were to ask me which of the two were happier, without hesitation, I would say the poor with gratefulness in their hearts.

What I am talking about here is very simple:

When we focus on abundance, our life feels abundant; when we focus on lack, our life feels lacking. It is purely a matter of focus.

It is true that we can’t be in denial about the pain in our life. That is damaging to our physical and emotional health. And just as importantly,

We can’t be in denial about the abundance in our life!

I suggest that you create a “Book of Abundance” for yourself. Each night before you go to bed, jot down at least 50 wonderful things that happened to you that day. “Fifty things, Susan! I can hardly think of three!” Obviously, you have not been noticing the blessings in your life! The purpose of this exercise is to help you do so. Some of the items you can include are:

• My car started
• I am able to walk
• I have food to eat
• Someone paid me a compliment
• My kids haven’t gotten into any trouble today
• I felt the sun’s warmth on my face
• I spoke to one of my best friends
• The flowers are starting to bloom
• I have hot water in my shower
• I’m breathing
• The sun came out

The items in your Book of Abundance do not have to be splashes of brilliance. In fact, it is better if they are not. Always keep in mind that if we focus only on the splashes of brilliance, so much of our life will seem drab…which it definitely is not! Take breathing, for example. Isn’t it incredibly, wildly extraordinary?!

In the beginning, finding these 50 things to be grateful for may take you a LONG, LONG time. Soon, however, the blessings will pour easily onto the paper. That is because you will spend much of the day LOOKING FOR the blessings in your life so that you will have new material to add to your Book of Abundance that night. And you will find them! The benefits are obvious…

As you start looking for the good, your focus automatically is taken off the bad…and you feel blessed!

If you can make noticing the abundance a habit, your life will be transformed!

I remember sitting with my mom in her living room on a cold, dreary winter day just months before she died. She was in much pain and was feeling very weak. At one point when I was in pain about her pain, she looked at me and said, “It’s cold outside…I’m warm and cozy inside. My daughter is here…sometimes you get lucky.”

Wow! I was focusing on her pain. She was focusing on her blessings. Thanks, Mom, for that beautiful lesson!

Excerpted from "Noticing the Abundance" by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. in Gratitude: A Way of Life by Louise L. Hay and Friends. Copyright © 1996 (The Hay Foundation).

Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. is considered one of the top self-help authors in the world. The Times (London) named Susan "the Queen of Self-Help" ranking her alongside such influential gurus as Nelson Mandela, the Dalai Lama and Deepak Chopra. Website www.SusanJeffers.com

FILED UNDER:SUSAN JEFFERS | ABUNDANCE | GRATITUDE | BLESSING | AWARENESS | JOURNALING